“Nothing will work unless you do.”
Take a deep breath
open your heart
stay in your lane
trust the journey
These are a few of the mantras I tell myself constantly–Like 10 x a day. I am back to soul work, which for me is like giving a kid candy. I can get lost in the moments of enlightenment. God is good. We have so many teachers that have come to the earth that I’m so thankful for. I hope you have some too. If not, good LORD find one.
I have an accolade to make and I will try and do it in appropriate proportion and give honor due to the one who took the time to listen. @Dr. Shefali Tsbary, I’m awake, honored, and on a beautiful path of shedding my ego and seeing the truth wading in the co-creation phase of my path. Dr. Shefali, I know you do not want the credit for your esoteric teachings. accolades are an illusion but I want people to know who taught me and for the readers to be able to find your life work
Why am I mentioning her? Because some of the things I write about are truths she showed me.
I signed up for a yearlong course taught by Dr. Shefali called “The awakened heart.” I am here to do the work, and it’s really because I’m selfish and exhausted and want to escape from my prison, my cell, my pit that I so cunningly have decorated with all kinds of lies.
I have run from my calling. I have lied to myself and others about what my heart really thinks. I have held onto 40-some years of hurt from childhood wanting to forgive, thinking I have, but holding on to pain and manifesting cancer. I can’t do it anymore. Something shifted, and I literally can’t do it. The emotional pain I have carried is such a burden that my back is weak and my spirit has taken over. I have had 11 surgeries which tells me I’m highly sensitive. My body is a fantastic listener. I can’t say that I did not know this work needed to be done. I started more than 13 years ago but didn’t know how to do it. I wanted to change desperately but didn’t know how.
Two years ago something happened….I happened. I woke up, came up with my mantra prayer, and God led me to this endless journey before me. I think our soul uses our discomfort to show us something is wrong. I believe it is God’s way of getting our attention. Problem is: When we feel it, we push it down, away and want none of it. We are masters of blaming everyone else for the pain they caused. But did they cause the pain or did it come to teach you? Does pain come to tear you apart? I don’t think so.
I believe every painful encounter comes to set you free, but here’s the catch: It takes work. Hard work. Self-examination, new ideas, and a new destination. Nothing worthwhile comes easily. It took me most of my life to want change. I found it out of pain—pain that I created by the way. It’s the way of life. Stop resisting it and for the love of humanity and yourself do the work! There are hundreds of paths; find yours. My path won’t necessarily fit your pace or destination.
A few months ago my good friend Mary wrote a blog about staying in your own lane. I never heard that before, but now I have heard it several times and want to pass it on. Stay in your own lane because if you cross the line you might not like the result. Work on you and no one else. If someone wants your help or needs your criticism they will ask. I am preaching to me. I so desperately want my family to get these concepts that I shove the information down their throats.
Mostly the kids. I want them to grow up differently than I did…knowing the truth about how God works. I have been teaching them about resisting the discomfort. Accepting the as is in every situation. Not going to lie: I usually end up screaming and defeated as they resist the lesson and then I resist their resistance. The perfect lesson in resisting the as is. It’s freaking hilarious actually! Okay, God, I surrender.
So how do you help others around you be like you, Miss Ego? Lol, You DON’T. They have their own path! Set an example and pray like a warrior that they see the truth you’re trying to live. It takes time to undo all the shit you have layered on yourself and your loved ones. It’s a big cycle. But I am out. Nope, not another day. I’m officially fired.
In case you’re wondering what that prayer is so you can memorize it, recite it and get it into every fiber of your being…be warned: It Will change your life.
You have a choice. If you’re miserable and happy stop reading now. I mean that. If you are more comfortable asleep in your delusion, that’s okay. God will keep sending you moments like this to awaken your heart.
If you’re still reading, then be read for your life to change.
God, show me the truth. Set me free. And bring me the people and resources I need to be the person you made me to be.
Listening is the first step. And I don’t mean listening to the nonstop chatter we hear. That’s not you. I have named my inner talker, Lucinda. Man, she is freaking annoying, loud, and judgmental. She lies, gossips, sabotages and I want nothing to do with her but to shut her up. She is not me. She’s who I have become complacent with. I have kept her around because she served me and only me on this earth. She makes everything about me and tells me what I want to hear to make myself feel better although it’s all lies. What she tells me is actually killing me, and I have the scar on my left right breast to prove it. She is toxic.
When I refer to listening this is what I mean is: Prayer, meditation, eating well, sleeping well, soul work, surrounding yourself with supportive, like-minded people, journal, exercise, read, Read, READ and listen to the ones before you that will seek you out. You have to be open and aware and awake to see them.
We tend to feed the ego with distractions, illusions, and lies. This is normal if you have been taught that your thoughts are real. That you are your thoughts. That your thoughts are directly in line with your feelings. Friends, this is not true. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. You are not your thoughts. If you were, then how could YOU hear them? If you are listening to something talk: It’s Not YOU!!!
You must learn this to understand who is really planted in your mind. Thoughts indicate what’s inside but if you do the work the thoughts will change. Be aware of the ego and realize this is not you. You are a soul in a human skin suit that is it.
Here is my challenge: Be selfish in one area of your life: Doing the Work. The work you were put on earth to do. What legacy are you going to leave? What impact will your work be on your great grandchildren? I hope you see today that the work you do on your soul matters more than what you do to provide for your family. You are not here to work at some corporate job or even some fantastic self-employment gig–unless you’re teaching others to be who God called them to be. Your job is to feed, clothe and provide shelter. You can dress that up or down as much as you want. That’s it. The work I’m talking about is not about money. The work I am begging you to do will last eternally because it will pass onto your children and your children’s children. It will become you. I know I can’t go back in time because all the pain brought me to this moment.
Our kids are our greatest love and therefore weakness. This is why God chooses them to teach us and come after us with passion.